November 28, 2011
Apparently, rum enthusiasts exist in this world and many call themselves sailors. Rum is just about the lamest alcoholic beverage in existence—a purview, I remind you, that includes both Goldschlager and Hot Damn!™ You think that guy in the Cialis ad drinks rum? No goddamned way. The owner of that throbbing man muscle is certainly a beer man - maybe he has a scotch when petting his sheepdog in front of the fire while his wife undresses for him upstairs in giddy anticipation of his pharmaceutically-enhanced genitalia.
You can talk shit about other beverages when someone invents the “rum cozy.”
“Every sailor knows when to hoist the whiskey flag…when you run out of rum.”